- Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.
Will I be glad that I made the decision to begin an English Literature Degree, or will I regret it? That was the title of the first piece of work I was set, and it got my mind working enough that I actually posted something here for the first time in months. I know you've missed me really.
Here's my reply to the question, anyway. Somewhat somber and introspective for me, I know, but never fear; I'll be back to my usual cantankerous self soon enough.
I cannot really answer this question as only after the course will the truth be revealed. I can say that I believe it to be a good choice, for if I thought otherwise this passage would not be being written.
I base that belief on my hopes; that I might find confirmation in this course of the direction I have chosen for myself and learn more of Literature, a topic the importance of which justifies the capital letter. The latter, at least, is guaranteed by the subject matter, while the other is less certain. Its realisation can come only with success. This course is a test I have set myself, that I might discover the truth of my own self-beliefs.
Failure will set me adrift in the world, for I am the sort to take failure hard and dismiss success. I fear to find that English, just as Chemistry was, is not for me. The thought that this could be a knee-jerk reaction taking me as far from my previous study as possible is never far from my mind. But more than that I fear that I will do the best I can and still not succeed. When one has no interest one can at least claim lack of motivation as an excuse and cling to the knowledge that one is capable of more. But to sink your heart into something and still fall short, that is the greatest failure of all.
11 comments:
Been at the Absynth again old boy?
You know how this is :D
What makes you say that?
Just the mildly introspective and depressing feeling that ebb's from that article. You're not going to cut of part of your ear and give it to leo of sometihng?
*Grins*
Well, yes, it was somewhat depressing. But then, it's a rather depressing subject that allows all my neuroses to bubble to the surface...
I still say it's the Absynth...
Embarking on a new venture is always a scary prospect. What you've said in the post reminds me of something that happened to me in my first few weeks at uni. For oh, about 15 years of my life all I ever wanted to be was an actress. I knew it was the right thing for me but I was advised to take a second qualification to 'fall back' on. I chose archaeology. I never thought I'd be anything other than an actress and then, about 3 weeks into my course, I realise archaeology was exactly what I wanted to do. It hurt and worried me to cut off that tie to the past of wanting to be an actress but now I know it's what needed to be done. It was scary - I mean I was scared of worms for goodness sake so what chance did I have of being an archaeologist, especially seeing as I didn't think I deserved my place on the course ( I didn't get all the points they wanted from me but they still let me in). Now, over a year down the line I know I'm where I'm meant to be.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't worry about not succeeding - in a way you did succeed in making your choice because you conquered your fear and rather staying with a subject you disliked, you chose to try something you think you'll like. It takes a great amount of courage to make such a big change. Don't worry about failing - you've already succeeded.
~ Chantelle
Sounds like Cha's been on the Anti-Absynth to me...
On the other hand as one who has failed his fair share of life I have to say it's not as bad as some people make out that it is. It's like death, in that it's just another begining. If I hadn't failed I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't have met all of my uni friends, I wouldn't have met and gotten to know some of the most wonderful people I know. Then again I might have met better etc but then that points moot.
So kiddies whilst failure isn't an option, if it happens it's not the worst thing in the world, it's just an oppertunity in disguise.
Andy - Wow I'll do anything to get out of revisin ;)
Thank you, both. I don't know how the next few years are going to go, but I'll rest easy in the knowledge that I've got good friends like you to fall back on.
Well I'm positivly padded so I guess that does make me good for falling back on. And once I get out of hospital and the ribs have healed I could even use my Shotgun / Scatter gun effect on you to help sooth it all away. I don't know why but it apparantly does work! Though i've not tried it on a bloke before that I recal. Teh Hot Chicks are my normal speciality... You could be my test case! Woot!*
*Please note the only known method for avoidence of this fate is not to fail. You have been warned!
*prods* Is it alive or hibernating due to too much work?
Um... it's on a ventilator, with all the relatives gathered round. There's a doctor hovering nearby, consent form in hand...
More important things took priority, I'm afraid.
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